I developed an absolutely relentless, brain-splitting headache on the way to Myrtle Beach this afternoon. It made my vision spotty, my favorite music too loud, and my company a little less than that. It dulled my surroundings and my senses, and made the drive less enjoyable than it normally would be. I can say with full confidence that I was far less enjoyable to be around than I might usually be. It oddly reminded me of a time in my life that was also relentlessly dulling and fogged my senses. It reminded me of high school.

If you know me well, you know the deal. If you don't, I'll try to sum it up. I was experiencing problems personally and at home that carried over into school, and then my realization of what was happening as a result of the combination only sent me further into depression. It was a never-ending, torturous cycle and I never thought I would see the light at the end of the tunnel, much less reach it. It affected my friends, grades, and self esteem. It permeated through my entire life and I had no way of weakening the depression's grasp. It got to the point where I wanted to switch schools, because I felt like running away from everything I knew would fix something. Needless to say, the problem wasn't merely my surroundings. My problem was how I dealt with my surroundings.

Today, I would describe myself as outgoing, passionate, and optimistic. I am confident, driven, and self-assured. I know who I am, what I like, and can stand up against what I don't. I surround myself with good people who will support and encourage me, not tell me what's wrong with me. I'm at a point in my life where I know what matters and what doesn't. I owe that to the best teacher I can find: experience.

Life is exactly what you make it. We are each given the same 24 hours, and it is up to us how we spend them. We cannot control our situations, but we can control how we react to them. We can't ultimately control how others feel about us, but we CAN control how we feel about ourselves. We can spend these 24 hours feeling sorry for ourselves or we can spend them serving other people. We can nag about the things we cannot control or we can spend our moments embracing those we can. We can choose to hate, or we can choose to love. It's your choice.

Maybe one day, I'll tell you more about why I slipped into the darkest years of my life. Maybe you'll never know. We each have a story. The point of this entry isn't to tell you exactly what happened in the pages of mine; it's written to tell you that every experience in my life, the really good and the really bad, have made me who I am today, and I'm proud of that person. I want you to understand that there are people out there dealing with issues just like yours. You are never alone, as much as it feels like you are. I yearn for you to see the light at the end of the tunnel before it's visible, and to just have faith that you will make it through. I want you to choose happiness, just like I have, and watch your bitter heart evolve into a heart for others.

I live a truly blessed life. We all do. We breathe in and we breathe out, and we are part of something much bigger than ourselves. It's amazing to reflect on times in your life that kicked you in the gut. Just when you thought it had you... you got back up.