Are you who you want to be?

Some might answer that they are generally happy with where they are and what they're doing. For others, the look in their eye speaks for itself. They are lost and have no idea what lead them to where they are today.

Happiness involves constant re-evaluation. Do I really love my job? Am I spending enough time with my friends and family? Am I doing what I need to do to get to where I want to go? Where is that, anyway? It's a tough pill to swallow when you the answers aren't what you want to hear. But why? If the answer is no, then why not change what you're doing? Is it that hard to rid yourself of things that make you unhappy?

Happiness involves risk. While the answer to the questions might be no, you're willing to remain unhappy because it's easier to remain where you are than to change direction. Worse, we often times sacrifice our own happiness for the sake of others. I guess I'll keep my job because it pays the bills. I'm doing what my parents want me to do, and that makes them proud. I have had a rough life... I should feel sorry for myself. Right?

There is a difference between not being sad and being happy. The middle ground, the in-between of happiness and sorrow is the enemy. Many of us find ourselves in this limbo. We're not completely unhappy with where we are, but we can't bring ourselves to say that ideally we wouldn't be somewhere else.

Happiness is a choice. Many would argue with me, but I have come face to face with this choice and I know it exists. No one can determine what cards they're dealt. We can, however, determine how we play them. This is the first step: accepting where we are and who we are by mere fate. I was born in Dunn, North Carolina to a middle class family. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. My parents are divorced, my mother struggles with narcotics abuse, and bipolar disorder runs in my family. This past October, I didn't get elected to National Office.

Is there anything I can do about it? No. That is my reality. Once we accept reality, we can then press forward. If we're stuck on things we can't control, we lose sight of things we can.

Step two of happiness: What do I want? What can I control? We can control attitude. Many people can control which profession they seek. We control how we spend free time. We can control how we treat other people. We can control who our friends are.

Are you doing what you love to do? For many, the answer is probably a resounding no. Unfortunately, we have created a culture that paying the bills is all that matters. I'm not saying there isn't any truth to that statement. Paying the bills is a necessity. For many it's a day to day struggle just to get by, with hopes that one day through perseverance, they will get to a more comfortable situation and do what they've always dreamed of doing. I commend you, and I truly hope that happens for you. However, there are those who make more than enough to survive, and still aren't happy. They do what they do because of the money, or because they're "good at it"... or because they want to make other people happy.

But Caroline... you don't have a career. You don't have the bills that I do. You don't have children. How could you possibly speak on this topic?

I have watched my father work tirelessly day in and day out to support me. He doesn't get a thrill from going to work every day. He makes money, but he isn't truly happy. While many parents would say that supporting their children does make them happy, many parents don't realize that what makes us truly happy is for our parents to be happy. I would give anything for my father to to pursue something that made him truly happy, instead of something that makes money for me to pursue things that make me happy. I hope that one day he will.

Happiness can be lost or gained at any time. It doesn't matter what stage of your life you are in. We each make decisions. It's never too late to change direction. Many would say that it is... but in reality, it's just hard to do. It's also hard to make decisions for yourself instead of for those around you.

While I've touched on some heavier examples of happiness, happiness can be found in the smallest of deeds. It can be found standing in front of your bathroom mirror as you make the decision to love what you see, telling yourself out loud that you are beautiful. It can be found taking five minutes to call an old friend you haven't spoken to in a while. It can found in a cup of coffee, a book you've been dying to read, taking a run, or playing with your dog.

So, what makes you happy? Why aren't you doing more of it? Why are you waiting?

The moment my name wasn't called, I knew I was going to be okay. I found comfort in what I was coming home to... a blessed life. When I stepped foot on Raleigh ground, the re-evaluation process began. It's still happening today. I'm not where I ultimately want to go, but I'm making plans. I am taking steps to do what makes me happy... and to ultimately be the person I want to be.

I know what I value. I know what I hold dear. I know who I am. I know I have purpose. Everyone has purpose. Don't be unhappy that you haven't found it yet; find comfort knowing that you will. God has a plan for you. He has one for all of us. Just hang on. Things won't always be perfect, but our perception is our reality. That peace brings me happiness. What brings you peace?

Take some time today to do something you love to do. Call someone you haven't in a while. Write in a journal. Write a love letter. Play a board game with your family. Take a risk. Do something you've been putting off. Say what you've always wanted to say. Dream big, and map out the journey it takes to get there. More importantly, start walking that way.

This is your life, and it's yours to define. When we look back, are we going to be satisfied with where we spent our time? Are we going to wish we had done things differently? Are we going to be afraid to die?

Are we going to die happy?