It's almost impossible to believe that 2 years ago tomorrow I was on the verge of a life changing experience.

I was interviewing to be a state FFA officer.

I had dreamed of that very day since I was a freshman in high school. I was relentless in pursuing that dream, and I did everything I could to prepare myself to serve. I knew who I was, and was ready to tell 12 people on the nominating committee how that person would be a great state officer. If nothing else, I could almost guarantee them I wanted it more than anyone in the whole wide world. I envisioned answering their questions perfectly, delivering convincing speeches, and nailing the knowledge test. I was ready. I could feel it.

It was the last session of state convention, the music loud and 21 FFA members' arms linked, all in hopes of hearing their name called on stage to serve the 16,000 members in North Carolina. My heart was racing, practically jumping out of chest. I remember closing my eyes, blocking out everything but the sound of the member reading the names. Then, the ultimate disappointment. I felt as if I'd been kicked in the gut, but I managed to put on a smile.

Don't let me mislead you. My name was called, and I was elected as a state officer. Why was I disappointed? My name wasn't called last. I wasn't the president.

All of the times I dreamed about that moment, the moment of hearing my name being called on stage, it was always called last. Always. I wanted to be the president for as long as I could remember. One of the greatest moments of my life was tarnished forever, merely because it wasn't how I'd always pictured it. I felt I let myself down, and I felt I let others down.

Some reading this are completely confused, and can't even begin to relate to the way I felt. It's hard to put yourself in my shoes at the time, and it's difficult to understand how someone would be unhappy at all being elected as a state officer. And this, my friends, is where you must bear with me.

I was closer to cocky than confident, and more focused on winning than succeeding. I had a completely distorted view of "being the best" or "being a leader". So, when I didn't get that position, I felt insecure, defeated, and flat out not good enough. I was bitter and it showed.

And I thought I knew who I was then... Bless my heart.

Being elected as a state officer, specifically as vice president, was the best thing that ever happened to me. As a vice president, I learned about teamwork. I valued other people more, and the talents they brought to the table. I realized that leadership is influence, regardless of position, and that the 5 other people around me could make me better if I took the time to learn. We each have strengths, and we each have weaknesses. We can't be the best at everything, and often times the word "best" is completely irrelevant.

I can't pinpoint the moment that it happened, but I only struggled for a little while. As soon as I realized FFA members didn't care what was on my jacket, neither did I. They cared who Caroline Yopp was, and they deserved to see the real her. I owed it to them and I owed it to myself to figure out who I was. Thank God for that.

My year as a state officer was the best year of my life. I came to understand what real values are. I'm not just a junior at NC State who's majoring in agricultural sciences and likes to play tennis on the weekends. No. I am so much more than that. I'm someone who values others, and loves to watch them grow and develop into the people they want to be. The investment you make in others is the most expensive and rewarding there is. I'm passionate and insanely outgoing. I'm relentlessly optimistic and enthusiastic, and I love having meaningful conversations. I value building relationships. I'm expressive, loud, and sometimes in your face, but it's only because I wear my heart on my sleeve. I want to get to know you... really know you. I understand that everything has purpose, and what you think may kill you may in fact be your saving grace. I'm competitive, analytical, and have a hard time making the decision between a cheeseburger or chicken nuggets at McDonald's. I want you to know who special you are. I wake up in the morning to leave things better than how I found them. I know that the seemingly small and unimportant things we do in our day to day lives tell others who we are, and even a smile can be so much more than that. I make plans in vain, because I know I'm not the One who is really in control. I know I am given 24 hours in a day, and it is my job and my job alone to make the very most of them, regardless of circumstance.

I knew none of those things the day I was elected as a state officer. But, they always say experience is the best teacher. From 40,000 ft, the past 2 years can be summed up in just one word: growth. I look back on the girl who went into those interviews and can't help but smile. She thought she knew who she was but she'd soon discover it was only the beginning.

Does anyone really know who they are at 18? I didn't, and I think it's safe to say that no one does. By the time I was 18, I'd experienced more life than many do at 70. I was an old soul, and far more mature than my age indicated. But, I never contemplated who I was, or how my brain worked. I never intentionally studied my own personality, or how others perceived me. I didn't know what gave my energy, or got me up in the morning. To this day, I still try to analyze the answers to these questions. I don't have all the answers, but I can assure you I know more about Caroline Yopp than I ever have.

The members who are interviewing to be state officers are in for the ride of their life. The next few days will be filled with anxiety, emotions, and nerves. Each will pour their heart out to a group of 12 people, and each desperately explain to them why they want this dream more than anything. Six will see that dream come true next Thursday. More than twice that will not.

For those that will become state officers next Thursday or in the years to come, your year is what you make it. You can chose to make it about you or you can choose to build others and grow yourself. You can make it a contest or you can enjoy the beauty of a team. You can enjoy the title, or you can enjoy FFA members. It's your choice.

For those of you who aren't elected, it isn't because you aren't good enough. It's hard for me to tell you what it feels like because I don't know. But, I can tell you that each of you are beautiful, talented, and amazing individuals who have a lot to bring to the table... even if you don't know it yet. You don't need state office to figure out who you are or to make you worthwhile. Everything happens for a reason. Have faith in that. If it's not this opportunity, it will be another.

Everyone has their moment in the sun.

Life is what you make it. I'll never be able to thank my teammates, mentors, family, friends, or FFA members for what they've done for me, and what they continue to do on a daily basis. I thank them for picking me up and forcing me to be better. But, I had to make the decision to let them.

Always remember my favorite quote: "I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou.

It's not about a title... It's about who you are. And more importantly, how that person makes others feel.