It amazes me how often we are our own worst enemy.

More times than not, most of us look to other people to verify that we are beautiful, smart, talented, or worthy. And, more times than not, we still don't believe the people we ask when they respond that we are. No matter how many times we ask, or how many times they give us the same answer, we can't bring ourselves to take off the rose colored glasses.

What makes us question if we're good enough? Where does the self-doubt come from, and why do we keep feeding it?

I know more than anyone that it's easier said than done to be confident and comfortable in who we are. No matter where we are or what we do, the monster of self-doubt always finds a way to haunt us. Sometimes, it rears its ugly head but we find a way to suppress it. Other times, we allow it to get the best of us. It strikes and leaves us alone with our negative thoughts. "I look horrible in this outfit. I never look good in anything. I wish I were more like Sally." "Man, I must be dumb to think I can do well on this test. I'm just not as smart as John." "I shouldn't even make a goal like that. People like me just don't become successful."

It's impossible for me to deny that there are days I compare myself to other people. Most of us do, and it may not be intentionally. We want what others have. We wish we were more like them. There's no way that person wants to be with us. I could continue the list, but I have a feeling that you know exactly what I'm taking about.

When you look at it on paper, it almost seems absurd that we are so critical of ourselves. Shouldn't we, of all people, love ourselves? If we can't love and support ourselves, how can we truly do it for anyone else? What is the standard for beautiful, intelligent, or worthwhile anyway? Is it a magazine? An IQ test? Someone telling you that you are? It may be your yard stick. I, however, refuse to accept it any longer.

Every person has something to bring to the table. We each have talents, skills, and abilities that make us unique, beautiful, and worthwhile. We may not have "genius" IQ scores, but we each have something that we're naturally good at, better at than most people. We may not be super models, but who said we had to be one to beautiful? I guess it depends on your definition of intelligence or beauty. To me, the most intelligent people are those who utilize what they have to build a life. They take what they're good at and take the necessary steps to become exceptional. Is that available for everyone? Yes. The most beautiful people in the world are the people with huge hearts, ones large enough to love, hurt, and beat for others. Truly beautiful people understand their impact on others, and strive to make someone else's day a little easier or brighter. Is everyone capable of that? Definitely. Is every single person "worthwhile"? Absolutely.

Let's look at the flip side: our role in building up others. We each face the battle of self-doubt, sometimes on a day to day basis. So, isn't it safe to say that everyone around us is as well? More than likely, a majority of the people you come in contact with are going through the same thing. We are constantly yearning for others to make us feel special. Why can't we do it for someone else? We love how it makes us feel... doesn't it only make sense to pay it forward?

When we spend a majority of our time picking ourselves apart, making a mental note of things we'd like to change, we lose time that could be used making other people feel great about themselves. Ironically, it doesn't take much time at all to make someone else's day. Could be a comment, a post-it note, a smile... Think of how many things we can do for others. Is that too much to ask of ourselves? I don't think so.

When we start noticing the beauty in others without tearing ourselves apart first, we find what it really means to love. Most importantly, we understand that love isn't just something we give to others... we must first give it to ourselves.

What are your inhibitions keeping you from?

"When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad, you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you."

- Stacey Charter